A Womans Love/Hate Relationship With "The Home Improvement Store"

So as I have mentioned before...I'm a renter, but I ain't no baby.

I'm not going to call my landlord to fix every little problem that pops up. If it's inexpensive to fix, I will usually just do it myself. In fact I have this nifty thing called a boyfriend who actually knows how to fix just about anything buuuuuut I'm not that patient of a soul.

I mean if I wanted something to be done within this decade, I would ask him...I'm not exaggerating.  To really be honest I love learning how to do things myself.

If he does end up fixing something for me I'm usually hovering over his shoulder watching, and asking a billion questions so I can do it myself next time.

It seems like something is always in need of some tweaking in this place, which takes me to "the home improvement store". 

The actual name of this place may change depending on where you live, but I'm sure they are all the same.

This is a tricky place for a woman, full of both love and hate.

•  This place is a playground for your expensive imagination, and it can be very dangerous. I mean, you can practically plan out your entire dream home in one store!!!! For God's sake they have miniature kitchens set up for you to drool over. After you are done in the kitchen section you can go one aisle over and pick out all of your appliances, and then stroll right on over to the flooring section. You can even pick out your paint colors and front door while your at it!!! By the time your drug out of the store by your very frightened partner, you're on a design high and your house just won't cut it anymore...it's time to gut the place. 

• Apparently they employ wizards because it seems as though everyone who works there can magically disappear as soon as you need some help. Why is it that when you know exactly what you want and know where you are going, you are hounded by employees asking if you need any help, but as soon as you need something the place turns into a virtual ghost town???? These are the questions that haunt me I tell you. I just want to know what flapper to buy for my toilet and no one will help me!!! Usually this ends up turning into some other experienced customer taking pity on me and giving me some much needed advice.....along with their business card, because they are a plumber. 

• That stupid rolling lift is everywhere!!! You know what I'm talking about. That lift that they drive around the store at a snails pace to get things off of the top shelves, that always happens to be in the aisle that you need to be in.....I hate them. Either they have already blocked it off, or they need to be in the aisle that you are shopping in and awkwardly try to push you out. I refuse to leave until I'm done and try to ignore the radio conversation between employees going on.  

"Hey Bob, did you get that pallet on aisle seven yet?"

"No, we have a customer still in the way and are waiting to close it off"

I'm not leaving until I pick out the right air filter damn it!!!!

• This place is a pick-up hot spot for a poor woman. No joke, I absolutely HATE going to this store without Kevin because I feel like I am being gawked at the entire time. Usually the store is packed with men and there are just way to many stares for my comfort level. This could be good or bad for you based on your answer to two questions:

1. Are you single?

2. Are the men staring at you, worth a glance back?

There is no shortage of sweaty men at this place, but what kind of sweaty man are we

 talking about?

I'd say this is what we are going to for here ladies...

Oh Mike from Desperate Housewives....we all miss you!!!

• Those billion paint swatches can be both good and bad. Like any other person, I have an idea in my head about what color I'm looking for before I go to the store to find just the right one. Please tell me that I am not the only one who ends up with something looking completely different?!?! The color that ends up on the walls is never what I imagined and I just end up asking myself, "where did I go wrong?" It's gotten to the point where I just don't trust myself anymore because somehow this vision, turned into this reality....yeah they're not quite the same color.

Well regardless if I love it or hate it, I don't see my need for this store weaning anytime soon because this just happened....I guess I'm just too strong for my own good.